The World's Worst Lover... Smiles!

There's an old joke that goes something like: an old married couple is lying in bed when the woman reaches over and whacks the man on the shoulder. "What's that for?" he cries. "For being a lousy lover," she says and rolls over. He thinks awhile and whacks her on the shoulder. "What's that for?" she cries. "That's for knowing the difference!" he says.

You've heard me mention Kami and seen a photo of her with Duncan in the last post. Today is our 28th anniversary. Twenty eight years ago I had sold almost everything I owned including furniture and books so that I could buy her an engagement and wedding ring from a discount jeweler. It was -- and is -- a tiny ring but it represented all I owned, all I dreamed, and all I hoped for. She said "yes" and so we were married at the Bear Valley Church of Christ in Denver, Colorado. That night we hit the road for the eastern edge of the country. We were going to work with an African-American congregation in Edenton, NC, helping them to build a building and get started.

So, on that late June day, we piled my Renault LeCar full. It had no air conditioning so we opened the vinyl, fold-back roof and headed across the country. This was back during Jimmy Carter's 55MPH mandate. Think about that for a moment: 55mph across Kansas. Then Missouri. Etc. It took us a week. With just a tiny radio, there wasn't much to do but talk to each other. Twenty eight years later, we still talk to each other, and we still enjoy traveling with each other.

I might be the world's lousiest lover. Or she might be. But since we are the only lovers we will ever have we are very happy with each other. In a world where dates are sexual tryouts complete with angst, fear, and looming failure we are freaks. We know that. We're okay with it. I won't run into an old lover in the grocery store nor will she run into a guy she used to live with. We are exclusive. Our secrets are safe with each other. So, while we may be great or lousy in the lover department, we are smiling because we only know each other -- and we love each other.

The world looks upon sexual exclusivity as if it were some sort of punishment. It seems, to them, as if God is holding out on them when He declares one man, one woman for life. But think of it this way: barring some bizarre blood transfusion mixup, we don't have to worry about AIDS. We won't get it. We don't worry about other STD's, either. While we give money and time to organizations that help fight those modern day plagues we know that we are safe in our happy home because we belong to each other, always have and always will.

Are we bragging? NO! This is all the gift of God. I was given an incredible gift by finding the right person to marry. When I first saw her it was like all my birthdays came at once. I didn't know how to date a Colorado girl so I took a shot and we rode horses. And rode them and rode them until I was completely out of quarters! She didn't spray me with Mace and run away so I knew she was the one.

We love each other. We don't fight (really!). We consider each other gifts from God and act accordingly. All of that is because of God's teaching, God's wisdom, and God's direction given to us by many, many faithful people in the church. None of it is because of us. All of it is because of Him.

Thank you, God, for life with Kami. Our life may be lousy, but we are so ignorant we think we're wonderfully happy and content. If that's what they mean by "ignorance is bliss" just let me say I wouldn't trade my bliss for anyone else's experience and knowledge. I still carry her high school senior photo in my wallet, because that is still the way she looks to me! God's way works just fine when both husband and wife try it.

And for those who's marriages or lives fell apart: I am not trying to rub it in. Without some very hard work on God's part I would be where you are. He knew I wasn't strong enough to survive what you have gone through, so He gave me Kami. These few words are a tribute to Him. And to her.