Bread on the Water

One of the hardest decisions a Christian will ever make is "who do we help? Who is genuinely in need?" Deacons placed in charge of benevolence have a burnout rate approaching that of Education Deacon (who are burnout champions again for the hundred year -- since Sunday schools started). We get used to being spun hard luck stories and trying to find a clue in the complex tale -- is this legit or are they scamming us?

I remember one church I served that slaved over Christmas baskets. They went over the top on presents, clothes, and food for needy families. After getting a list of names, they got each willing member to deliver the goods to a couple of homes. I took Duncan, then aged 10, with me to a single wide trailer home nestled deep in a ravine. A few feet from the closed front door we could smell cigarette smoke and unwashed clothes. I was born in poverty and raised poor until my father could drag us into the lower middle class so I understand how people can be trapped in bad situations. I reminded myself to deliver these gifts from God's people in such a way as to honor our Lord and show His love.

It didn't work out that way. A man's voice yelled at me to open the door. I did. Smoke filled the trailer as did piles of clothes and unwashed dishes. The man and woman (husband and wife?) were sloppy and barely looked away from the telly as we told them why we were there. The man said, "I guess you can bring it in" and never moved as we carted in several huge boxes representing hundreds of dollars worth of toys, food, clothes, and gift cards. To make a long story short, no one helped us bring them in and no one thanked us for bringing them. We tried to visit with them but they wanted to watch the TV and, besides, they were busy yelling and cursing at their kids.

The next year, Duncan and I drew their name again. I said "no." There is a fine line between throwing bread on the water, wanting to do good in Jesus' Name, and, on the other hand, being a poor steward and encouraging the lazy or sinful. (this story is longer so don't write saying "maybe he had a back problem and maybe..." We checked them out thoroughly after my visit)

My parents are broken hearted. They have welcomed children into their home all of my life. Dad would adopt anyone who wanted a family. Sometimes it worked out well. Just as often, it didn't. Today, they learned that a young girl they have given their lives and money to for years has been lying to them, using them, and laughing at them behind their back. They think they have failed. Once again, I say "no." Mom and Dad are generous, kind, people. While their religion is strict and rigid, their hearts are warm and giving. They did no wrong in giving their money away (and they don't have much. Missionaries don't retire well) or in spending most of the last several years in helping this girl. It was bread on the water and, as Jesus promised, it will come back to them.

Sometimes bread comes back right in front of our eyes. After the death of Professor Jack, I wrote that we would take goods and food back down to Cass Park in his memory. Yesterday was that day. Read my daughter's blog at karagraves.blogspot.com (linked on this page) for the details. It was a glorious time of love and giving. We help people every time we go there but the bread is already coming back in the form of changed lives in our own congregation. Our people come back from Cass Park with changed attitudes, more open hearts, and a giving spirit. (full disclosure -- this ministry is run by Josh and Kara. I didn't go with them yesterday)

Maybe giving away money and goods won't change the recipient very often, but it certainly changes the giver. So, with few exceptions including the one I noted above, my family will continue to give. Will people take advantage of us? Yes. Will we be hurt financially or emotionally? Probably. Then why do we continue? Because giving is an act of grace that blesses the giver more than the receiver. We don't give so that we will feel better. We give because that's what our family does -- our earthly family and our Christian one.

It is bread on the water. It is a cup of cool water given in His Name. That means that every gift is eternal. God will remember it.