Weird Travels

A change of pace blog today....

Yesterday a man passed me in his Toyota Prius. He had a goatee, a smug look.... and a huge Harley Davidson sticker on his bumper. A Prius and a Harley... aren't those two natural enemies in the wild?

It's another dark, rainy day in Michigan; definitely fall weather. I find myself getting squirrelly at this time of year (okay, more squirrelly). I'll catch a fly, hold it over a globe, and say, "Dude! You're flying too high!" or run outside with a toothpick and throw it in the woods yelling, "You're home now!"

As our church kids went off to college I recalled my own first days at university. My grandmother wouldn't hear of me buying dorm furniture. She insisted on supplying stuff from her house. I had the only dorm room that looked like a set from Pirates of Penzance. Grandmom was a tough lady. She buried three husbands and we think two of them were only napping. I went to see her last week. Well, I had to go to the attic anyway... I paid for my first year of school by selling encyclopedias. Man, when the librarian found out about that...

I'm off to Brownwood, TX this weekend to do a three day family seminar. Weather.com tells me it will be in the high 90's while I'm there. Yikes. Am I not living a righteous life to avoid having to be in a hot place one day??? I hope my flight is better than the last one. I think I might have been sitting in Assistant Coach.

I had an argument with a lady recently who told me that God was a woman. I don't think she's right. I certainly HOPE she isn't because if she is, and I go to hell, I'll never know why.

Seeing Duncan getting ready to leave for the Corps makes me feel old. Maybe that's because I AM old. Our globe in grade school was flat. I watch my parents to see how they're doing as a preview of coming attractions. My mother has new teeth, her cataracts removed, and a new hearing aid. I told her we're going to fix her up a little more and then sell her. She didn't laugh. My grandmother did well -- lived to 88 years old and never used glasses. Drank right from the bottle.

I'm just asking -- did anyone else play Twister like we did? They'd lock me up in a closet and tell me a tornado was coming. At least it kept me from going to the family reunion. I love my family, but some of those branches needed cutting. And there's always that amateur geneologist there with the books and photos showing your lineage all the way back. That can be useful, true, as I learned one of our family customs was -- if someone is sitting too close to you on the branch, fling your poo at them. That seems helpful, somehow.

I don't want my son to get too physically involved with girls yet so I tell him that kissing is just swapping spit at the sweet end of thirty feet of intestines.

I want to diet and have a great body, but not as much as I want dessert. I found a solution -- I go on two diets at the same time, because one diet will never supply enough food...

I'm off to a staff meeting now. What are the odds I'll get serious and pastoral in time? In a world where a Prius can have a Harley sticker... why not celebrate the strange?